Oh man, you know how Weatherman Willard Scott does his Smuckers salute to old people on whatever morning show that is? What it has to do with weather, I don't know. Let me tell you, the Smuckers flavor of the day is fear, people. Total fear.
So he's going through Agnes and Jasper and other oldie olds, and he throws out one fun fact about each one. "Agnes is 103 from Podunk, Tennesee and makes a mean potato salad." OMG. Potato salad? Hasn't she made any better contribution than special spuds? In 103 years?! Don't get me wrong, I love a good potato salad just like anyone else, but this woman MUST have done something more with her life. You know she has, but, even worse, whomever submitted her photo and lifelong contribution came up with potato salad. I dunno. I'm shaking my head in mid-life-crisis fear.
I think it's funny that this observation comes at a time when I feel most useless having lost my job six weeks ago. I often think my gravestone would read "She's contributed nothing to life. Learn from her death." Not to be maudlin about it, but seriously, what have I done that could be better than potato salad? At least Agnes mastered the picnic staple, which is more than I can say for myself. (I still don't understand the pickle juice thing.)
This just all means that it's a good time to re-evaluate, or even evaluate, what type of job would satisfy me, add meaning to my life and shit. I need to volunteer or something. I need to make some contribution to the world or at least make a difference in someone's life.
Hmmm, that's kind of heavy and a little too much to think about before coffee. Oy.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
News at 11
Okay, riddle me this: the news is now reporting that traffic across the country is getting lighter, and gas is getting cheaper because...wait for it...the nation's unemployment is at its highest! Good for the people who still have jobs, but please don't be so perky about it. I dunno what to think about this one. At least I'll get to interviews easier.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Things I Can Do Now That I Have Time, or Ways to Amuse Myself
Sure there’s the regular daily tasks of job searching and house cleaning (okay, maybe not so daily), but I’m finding that I really don’t know what to do with myself when I’m not working. So finding stuff to do that doesn’t cost much or even anything is a little hard. Here’s what I’ve come up with:
Go to Starbucks regularly and get on a first-name basis with the barista
Oh right…check! See, already off to a good start!
Ride the T and blog about the characters I see, or just ride the T to see where it goes
I’m a retard T rider and have no idea what line to get where and why they call it a Charlie Card! Who is Charlie, and how do I get to the airport without driving?
Greet people at Target even though I don’t work there
Randomly talk to people and pick up vitamins…now that’s a productive day!
Clean out the closets and get rid of clothes I’ve had since Chapter 1
I mean, really, that shit has to go!
Unpack those boxes in the guest room that have been waiting for a year an a half
Honestly, it’s all Chapter 1 pictures and memorabilia. That will need alcohol or be timed not to coincide with PMS.
Write poems about my friends
I used to correspond in ababcc to amuse my friend Susan; it always made her laugh. Likewise, in college, we used to have rhyming Tuesdays where you could only speak in rhyme. See this is what people did before computers were invented!
Call the people I haven’t spoken to in a while
If people don’t know I lost my job, it’s been a month (GAK!) since we’ve spoken, and that’s way too long!
Go for a walk
But only if it's not raining/too cold/too hot/too buggy out. Yes, dear brother who has lost 100 pounds by walking, okay, fine. Will do. Maybe I'll check out TV yoga too.
Sort the shit in the basement
Again, Chapter 1. I keep waiting and hoping that Consignment Store Cousin is going to come through with the store, because I have some stuff too nice for a garage sale!
Read a book
Um, maybe something that’s actually bound. In cloth, or maybe even leather.
And worse comes to worst, I can stand on a street corner with a sign, “will work for 401(k).”
Other suggestions?
Go to Starbucks regularly and get on a first-name basis with the barista
Oh right…check! See, already off to a good start!
Ride the T and blog about the characters I see, or just ride the T to see where it goes
I’m a retard T rider and have no idea what line to get where and why they call it a Charlie Card! Who is Charlie, and how do I get to the airport without driving?
Greet people at Target even though I don’t work there
Randomly talk to people and pick up vitamins…now that’s a productive day!
Clean out the closets and get rid of clothes I’ve had since Chapter 1
I mean, really, that shit has to go!
Unpack those boxes in the guest room that have been waiting for a year an a half
Honestly, it’s all Chapter 1 pictures and memorabilia. That will need alcohol or be timed not to coincide with PMS.
Write poems about my friends
I used to correspond in ababcc to amuse my friend Susan; it always made her laugh. Likewise, in college, we used to have rhyming Tuesdays where you could only speak in rhyme. See this is what people did before computers were invented!
Call the people I haven’t spoken to in a while
If people don’t know I lost my job, it’s been a month (GAK!) since we’ve spoken, and that’s way too long!
Go for a walk
But only if it's not raining/too cold/too hot/too buggy out. Yes, dear brother who has lost 100 pounds by walking, okay, fine. Will do. Maybe I'll check out TV yoga too.
Sort the shit in the basement
Again, Chapter 1. I keep waiting and hoping that Consignment Store Cousin is going to come through with the store, because I have some stuff too nice for a garage sale!
Read a book
Um, maybe something that’s actually bound. In cloth, or maybe even leather.
And worse comes to worst, I can stand on a street corner with a sign, “will work for 401(k).”
Other suggestions?
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Getting to the Point
Forgive me. It's been five days since my last blogfession. I'd like to think I've been so busy that I haven't had any time to write. Really, what have I possibly been doing? Why aren't the closets cleaned out, and the boxes unpacked that have been stacked in the guest bedroom since I moved in more than a year ago. (In all fairness, the boxes are all pictures from Chapter One, so I either need to be in a silly/stupid/careless mood or be accompanied by a bottle of pinot.)
In any case, I'm totally unmotivated. Maybe I'm depressed. Maybe I just need some friggin sun - the weather chick this morning said June had 22 days of rain in its 30-day tenure. In other gloomy news, dog-walking cousin isn't talking to me since I told her she hurt my feelings by putting me on the pay-no-mind list (my family doesn't deal well with emotions; just ignore them and they'll go away). Consignment-store cousin has seemed to fallen off the radar, maybe dealing with her own layoff (so I'll give her that). And, fellow laid-off DB worker is in New York all week, and I already miss her. And I don't want to bother anyone who still has a job. Point is that I'm feeling a little alone, forgotten and rejected.
I keep telling myself that I need to keep a list of all the positive things I do each day. I'll positively get on that. Then I'll get to the closets, the boxes and certainly my brother's book. This morning he emailed me to say that my parents finally arrived after driving to California from Florida, "and where are we on the book?" WE are sitting on it trying to get motivated to edit a tome that is funnier than hell, but has more grammatical errors than a child writing a wiki.
But at least I cleaned the bathroom this morning..AND took a shower...AND put on underwear. And now I'm gonna cut the stack of coupons and make a grocery list.
In any case, I'm totally unmotivated. Maybe I'm depressed. Maybe I just need some friggin sun - the weather chick this morning said June had 22 days of rain in its 30-day tenure. In other gloomy news, dog-walking cousin isn't talking to me since I told her she hurt my feelings by putting me on the pay-no-mind list (my family doesn't deal well with emotions; just ignore them and they'll go away). Consignment-store cousin has seemed to fallen off the radar, maybe dealing with her own layoff (so I'll give her that). And, fellow laid-off DB worker is in New York all week, and I already miss her. And I don't want to bother anyone who still has a job. Point is that I'm feeling a little alone, forgotten and rejected.
I keep telling myself that I need to keep a list of all the positive things I do each day. I'll positively get on that. Then I'll get to the closets, the boxes and certainly my brother's book. This morning he emailed me to say that my parents finally arrived after driving to California from Florida, "and where are we on the book?" WE are sitting on it trying to get motivated to edit a tome that is funnier than hell, but has more grammatical errors than a child writing a wiki.
But at least I cleaned the bathroom this morning..AND took a shower...AND put on underwear. And now I'm gonna cut the stack of coupons and make a grocery list.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Whoa, is me!
Today I received an email: "I heard life hasn't been treating you well." This from a woman who has a wheelchair-bound husband and has MS herself. Are you fucking serious? Other than losing my job, life has actually been treating me very well! And, certainly compared to a couple of years ago, life is grand.
I'm going on a mission. I'm going to enjoy my time off. Fancy that. Although I spend time every day looking for a job, making contacts, networking and more, I need to enjoy the time that I'm not or when I need a break from Monster, Indeed and outplacement events. Even now, I'm sitting on the back deck going through email and Facebook. Forecast? Partly sunny (about time). I've had enough dark clouds overhead.
If you are or have been unemployed (when you normally work in the first place), no doubt you have been on the receiving end of pity. When I call my parents, I say, "hi, it's me and I'm still unemployed." I find getting it out of the way pre-empts the piteous strike: "Anything happening, sweetheart?" "Um. No." And, while we're talking, "fuck no, since you hate when I swear."
Most of my unemployed friends - regrettably there are many, but thankfully we can all lean on each other - get the same thing. This can be a long haul, and I hate to think every time I speak with someone, conversation has to start with my lack of work. I'm thrilled to get the call or email about a potential job lead or "I have a friend in the bakery business who needs a communications lead and wants you to be a food critic." (Hmmmm...idea!) Those connections are priceless, and friends don't realize how thankful I am that they're looking out for me. (Thank you, guys.)
I find it's more with parents and family who know I'm subsisting on pasta until the next unemployment check. "That's really not good for you, Dear." Okay, maybe it's not that extreme, but ordering out for Chinese is now limited to once a week.
Conversation Starter Suggestions:
* I have a great book now that you have time!
* Wanna go for a walk?
* Did you clean out your second bedroom/closet/basement yet?
* Did you see in Cosmo that there's a serious lack of virgins in the world?
I can't listen to things like, "What type of anti-depressant are YOU on?" or "Let's start a 'Laid off from DB' bitch session group." Seriously. What's even worse is watching the news with daily reports on the economy as nothing but doom and gloom. Um....I KNOW! No more daytime television (especially with those commercials touting how I can become a computer repairman in as little as 6 months)!
So save me the pity party, and I'll try to save myself the same. I think I'll renew my subscription to Cosmo to have something fun to talk about instead of "OMG, can you believe so-and-so is screwing the company vice president?" Ok, maybe not a good example because I really want to know that, but still... there's a life out there, people. Enjoy it while you can!
Off to Book Club!
I'm going on a mission. I'm going to enjoy my time off. Fancy that. Although I spend time every day looking for a job, making contacts, networking and more, I need to enjoy the time that I'm not or when I need a break from Monster, Indeed and outplacement events. Even now, I'm sitting on the back deck going through email and Facebook. Forecast? Partly sunny (about time). I've had enough dark clouds overhead.
If you are or have been unemployed (when you normally work in the first place), no doubt you have been on the receiving end of pity. When I call my parents, I say, "hi, it's me and I'm still unemployed." I find getting it out of the way pre-empts the piteous strike: "Anything happening, sweetheart?" "Um. No." And, while we're talking, "fuck no, since you hate when I swear."
Most of my unemployed friends - regrettably there are many, but thankfully we can all lean on each other - get the same thing. This can be a long haul, and I hate to think every time I speak with someone, conversation has to start with my lack of work. I'm thrilled to get the call or email about a potential job lead or "I have a friend in the bakery business who needs a communications lead and wants you to be a food critic." (Hmmmm...idea!) Those connections are priceless, and friends don't realize how thankful I am that they're looking out for me. (Thank you, guys.)
I find it's more with parents and family who know I'm subsisting on pasta until the next unemployment check. "That's really not good for you, Dear." Okay, maybe it's not that extreme, but ordering out for Chinese is now limited to once a week.
Conversation Starter Suggestions:
* I have a great book now that you have time!
* Wanna go for a walk?
* Did you clean out your second bedroom/closet/basement yet?
* Did you see in Cosmo that there's a serious lack of virgins in the world?
I can't listen to things like, "What type of anti-depressant are YOU on?" or "Let's start a 'Laid off from DB' bitch session group." Seriously. What's even worse is watching the news with daily reports on the economy as nothing but doom and gloom. Um....I KNOW! No more daytime television (especially with those commercials touting how I can become a computer repairman in as little as 6 months)!
So save me the pity party, and I'll try to save myself the same. I think I'll renew my subscription to Cosmo to have something fun to talk about instead of "OMG, can you believe so-and-so is screwing the company vice president?" Ok, maybe not a good example because I really want to know that, but still... there's a life out there, people. Enjoy it while you can!
Off to Book Club!
Monday, June 22, 2009
Duh.
People are stupid. It’s really unbelievable how some people have made careers out of stating the obvious. Here are some of the dumb things I’ve heard today from “experts” on daytime television, which, unfortunately, includes the news:
“Many relationships break up because of commitment problems.”
Yeah, don’t go there. But, really, no shit.
“Stay tuned to find out how buying those family-sized meals can triple the calories you’re eating.”
“Is it normal to take a trip with a significant other on the third date?”
Um, "significant other"?
“This box of granola has more than 3,000 calories! For that, you can eat 6 boxes of oat-bran waffles, which have 8 in a box!”
Um, excuse me, Miss Bimbo-Supposed-Television-Nutritionist, not only am I sure you’ve never eaten granola, but if you’re advising me to eat 48 waffles instead of an entire box of granola, I think you should find a new profession. Just stand there and flip your hair, and you'd have more credibility.
“People are experiencing something called ‘Facebook Depression’.”
Honestly, if someone de-friends you, were you really friends to begin with? And, while we’re on the subject, what’s with people with 1,000 friends? Good luck with that.
Ah, yes, if there’s one motivation not to watch daytime television while you’re unemployed, this would be it. Really, these people are employed and I’m not? HULLO!?
“Many relationships break up because of commitment problems.”
Yeah, don’t go there. But, really, no shit.
“Stay tuned to find out how buying those family-sized meals can triple the calories you’re eating.”
“Is it normal to take a trip with a significant other on the third date?”
Um, "significant other"?
“This box of granola has more than 3,000 calories! For that, you can eat 6 boxes of oat-bran waffles, which have 8 in a box!”
Um, excuse me, Miss Bimbo-Supposed-Television-Nutritionist, not only am I sure you’ve never eaten granola, but if you’re advising me to eat 48 waffles instead of an entire box of granola, I think you should find a new profession. Just stand there and flip your hair, and you'd have more credibility.
“People are experiencing something called ‘Facebook Depression’.”
Honestly, if someone de-friends you, were you really friends to begin with? And, while we’re on the subject, what’s with people with 1,000 friends? Good luck with that.
Ah, yes, if there’s one motivation not to watch daytime television while you’re unemployed, this would be it. Really, these people are employed and I’m not? HULLO!?
Friday, June 19, 2009
My Ass is Killing Me
There's no other way to say it. I've been sitting on my ass for two weeks now, killing myself from the boredom, depression and overwhelmingness of looking for a new job.
Yes, I could fold the laundry or empty the dishwasher, but that would take precious moments away from me doing absolutely nothing.
I swear, I wish I had the enthusiasm that I had when the Ex moved out and I immediately got on match.com (that ended up being a very wise move, yay). But now I'm afraid I'm slipping into WTF-land.
Speaking of which, a dairy truck just went by. Seriously? People still get dairy delivered? In other WTF news, why are flowers growing on my cilantro? And what does it mean when a cardinal flies in front of you?
I'm a scatterbrain, I know. Maybe it's adult ADD (if I believed in that); some say it runs in our family. I say, "what were we talking about?"
This morning I woke up at 6:30 with Hubby, went downstairs to get my laptop thinking it's a good morning to finally read my brother's book, which I've been promising for the past two weeks. Here's a kid who works in LA (read: spends more time on the road than he should), plays in a band, has recently started playing hockey again (good for you!), has a family and has time to write a friggin book (about his recent 100-pound loss). I have definitely underwhelmed the world, especially since I was supposed to be the writer in the family.
So now it's 11:30 (a lot of time can pass doing nothing), and I'm going to meet Wonderful Hubby for coffee (yes, Starbucks) and then go to Barnes & Noble. It's not that I'm lured by the TV in my living room to stay home; it's just that my ass is killing me from sitting on the couch with my laptop. At least my ass can kill me from sitting in hard chairs at the bookstore where I'm sure I'll fit in another coffee (yes, Starbucks).
But at least I'll read Pete's book. And then maybe I'll look for a job. Sigh.
Yes, I could fold the laundry or empty the dishwasher, but that would take precious moments away from me doing absolutely nothing.
I swear, I wish I had the enthusiasm that I had when the Ex moved out and I immediately got on match.com (that ended up being a very wise move, yay). But now I'm afraid I'm slipping into WTF-land.
Speaking of which, a dairy truck just went by. Seriously? People still get dairy delivered? In other WTF news, why are flowers growing on my cilantro? And what does it mean when a cardinal flies in front of you?
I'm a scatterbrain, I know. Maybe it's adult ADD (if I believed in that); some say it runs in our family. I say, "what were we talking about?"
This morning I woke up at 6:30 with Hubby, went downstairs to get my laptop thinking it's a good morning to finally read my brother's book, which I've been promising for the past two weeks. Here's a kid who works in LA (read: spends more time on the road than he should), plays in a band, has recently started playing hockey again (good for you!), has a family and has time to write a friggin book (about his recent 100-pound loss). I have definitely underwhelmed the world, especially since I was supposed to be the writer in the family.
So now it's 11:30 (a lot of time can pass doing nothing), and I'm going to meet Wonderful Hubby for coffee (yes, Starbucks) and then go to Barnes & Noble. It's not that I'm lured by the TV in my living room to stay home; it's just that my ass is killing me from sitting on the couch with my laptop. At least my ass can kill me from sitting in hard chairs at the bookstore where I'm sure I'll fit in another coffee (yes, Starbucks).
But at least I'll read Pete's book. And then maybe I'll look for a job. Sigh.
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