Duh.

People are stupid. It’s really unbelievable how some people have made careers out of stating the obvious. Here are some of the dumb things I’ve heard today from “experts” on daytime television, which, unfortunately, includes the news:

“Many relationships break up because of commitment problems.”
Yeah, don’t go there. But, really, no shit.

“Stay tuned to find out how buying those family-sized meals can triple the calories you’re eating.”

“Is it normal to take a trip with a significant other on the third date?”
Um, "significant other"?

“This box of granola has more than 3,000 calories! For that, you can eat 6 boxes of oat-bran waffles, which have 8 in a box!”
Um, excuse me, Miss Bimbo-Supposed-Television-Nutritionist, not only am I sure you’ve never eaten granola, but if you’re advising me to eat 48 waffles instead of an entire box of granola, I think you should find a new profession. Just stand there and flip your hair, and you'd have more credibility.

“People are experiencing something called ‘Facebook Depression’.”
Honestly, if someone de-friends you, were you really friends to begin with? And, while we’re on the subject, what’s with people with 1,000 friends? Good luck with that.

Ah, yes, if there’s one motivation not to watch daytime television while you’re unemployed, this would be it. Really, these people are employed and I’m not? HULLO!?